Heart for Family, Heart for Jesus

Someone told me I was ugly and fat!

Today I had a conversation with a “friend.” I invited her into my house and started having a very familiar conversation. I told her about a situation that I was dealing with at work. She told me that someone would do a better job at my position than me. Then I started talking to her about writing my blog and she said that no one would probably read it because what did I have to offer? After all, other women had it all together, not me. I don’t have a perfect house, a perfect family, or a perfect life. Later, I told her about my boys and what they were doing with their lives. She told me that I had made lots of mistakes as a mother and she couldn’t believe that my boys had turned out so great. She also told me that I was fat, wrinkled and gray headed. How could my husband still be in love with me? I looked her square in the eye and believed every word she was telling me. After all, we have had these conversations many times over the years.

That’s a friend?

You might be asking yourself, what kind of friend would say that? How dare she say all of that about you? Did you slap her? Why did you stay there and take it?

The problem is that I invited this friend into my life years ago and continue to invite her over all of the time. My friend’s name is ME.

Have you ever had those kinds of conversations with yourself? Has there ever been a time when you look in the mirror and talk down to yourself by saying, “Wow, you’ve added a few pounds lately!” or “Gosh, that meal you cooked for your family could’ve been much better if…” or “Why does ____________ seem to have it all together and I can’t even get to work on time?” I think, as women, we are all guilty of this at one time or another. We have got to STOP doing this to ourselves!

Steps to Build Yourself Up:

Instead of talking down to yourself, try these things to build yourself up:

  1. Positive self talk – as a woman, you are always building others up.  Do yourself a favor and build YOU up! You deserve to be loved by yourself! Look in that mirror and say to yourself, “I am enough just the way I am!” or “I am great at what I do”. You might even say, “I believe in myself!” or “I am beautiful!”
  2. Be kind to you – tell yourself that you are important, that you matter! You are a beautiful person and work hard at everything that you do. Acknowledge that to yourself!
  3. List all of your strengths – trust me, you have many, many strengths. Be bold and brag a little on yourself!
  4. BELIEVE WHAT YOU TOLD YOURSELF in steps 1-3!

What the Bible says about You:

Maybe there is a reason you continue to talk down to yourself. You might have been criticized by a parent, a spouse or a friend your entire life. Don’t believe those lies anymore. God made you just the way you are for a reason. The Bible clearly states that:

You are perfect just the way you are:

Psalms 139: 1-  “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; v. 16: Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

God put you in the job you are in and has BIG plans for you:

Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

God says you are precious:

The Bible says in Proverbs 31:10-11 “She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.”

Proverbs 31: 28 “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”

Be a Better Friend to Yourself

We have all heard the saying that a friend loves at all times. Women are the greatest friends. We are there for each other. Our friends listen to us when we are sad and build us up when we need encouragement. Why, then, don’t we do that for ourselves?

Next time you catch yourself talking down to yourself, kick “your friend” to the curb, do some positive self talk, meditate on God’s word and BELIEVE the TRUTH about who God says you are! You, my dear woman, are a blessing and a gift to those around you!

 

Be Blessed,

20 thoughts on “Someone told me I was ugly and fat!

  1. You hit the nail on the head! I hope many people read this entry on your great blog! ?

  2. Boy did I ever need to hear this today!!!!! Thank you for these wonderful words!!!!

  3. You did a beautiful job on this post! And you really had me going too, LOL! I was ready to tell you to get a new friend! Thank you for sharing this. 🙂

  4. You are so right! I look back on pictures of myself 10 years ago when I thought I was so much fatter and older than my friends. Now , I wish I was that size again! Regardless, our age builds beauty within and as long as Christ shines through us, we are beautiful! Thanks friend, this was great.

  5. I too thought it was a real “friend.” Great post! Unfortunately, as women, we often put ourselves down and don’t even realize it. You could not have introduced this post in a better way. We would never keep a friend who talked to us like that. I admire your courage in writing this post.

  6. Good stuff! I was ready to punch your friend in the nose! But her name could be Me Too! Thanks for sharing.

  7. This is such an inspiring blog, especially at this particular point. I am always the worst friend to myself until yesterday when I looked at myself and realized that I have made a difference to the lives of other and myself. I have taken your 3 points- hope you don’t mind- and I am going to use them as affirmation every morning. Thank you for this.

  8. Wow, this is such a powerful post. I really did think this was a friend that you had, and I was thinking, “oh my goodness” and then when you revealed it was yourself, it made so much sense. This is something we need to be reminded of every day. It’s hard to always feel like we have to measure up to the standards that social media posts place on us. Thank you for reminding us that we are all worthy!

  9. We have to remember we are daughters of the King and behave that way. We are our own biggest critic. Although we do need self evaluation we need to do it in a positive rather than negative one. When we keep ourselves in the Word of God we will better understand His will for us in our lives. Then our light can shine so that others can see Him in our lives. Thanks for the excellent reminder today! Love you friend!❤️

  10. Such a great and powerful post!! A much-needed reminder as I think I have the same ‘friend’ as you! Thank you for sharing this!!

  11. Very inspirational post, Vickie. We can definitely be our own worst critic. I for one, am guilty of doing so, but trying to change that narrative. Many blessings sweet friend!

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