Today I had a conversation with a “friend.” I invited her into my house and started having a very familiar conversation. I told her about a situation that I was dealing with at work. She told me that someone would do a better job at my position than me. Then I started talking to her about writing my blog and she said that no one would probably read it because what did I have to offer? After all, other women had it all together, not me. I don’t have a perfect house, a perfect family, or a perfect life. Later, I told her about my boys and what they were doing with their lives. She told me that I had made lots of mistakes as a mother and she couldn’t believe that my boys had turned out so great. She also told me that I was fat, wrinkled and gray headed. How could my husband still be in love with me? I looked her square in the eye and believed every word she was telling me. After all, we have had these conversations many times over the years.

That’s a friend?

You might be asking yourself, what kind of friend would say that? How dare she say all of that about you? Did you slap her? Why did you stay there and take it?

The problem is that I invited this friend into my life years ago and continue to invite her over all of the time. My friend’s name is ME.

Have you ever had those kinds of conversations with yourself? Has there ever been a time when you look in the mirror and talk down to yourself by saying, “Wow, you’ve added a few pounds lately!” or “Gosh, that meal you cooked for your family could’ve been much better if…” or “Why does ____________ seem to have it all together and I can’t even get to work on time?” I think, as women, we are all guilty of this at one time or another. We have got to STOP doing this to ourselves!

Steps to Build Yourself Up:

Instead of talking down to yourself, try these things to build yourself up:

1. Positive self talk – as a woman, you are always building others up.  Do yourself a favor and build YOU up! You deserve to be loved by yourself! Look in that mirror and say to yourself, “I am enough just the way I am!” or “I am great at what I do”. You might even say, “I believe in myself!” or “I am beautiful!”
2. Be kind to you – tell yourself that you are important, that you matter! You are a beautiful person and work hard at everything that you do. Acknowledge that to yourself!
3. List all of your strengths – trust me, you have many, many strengths. Be bold and brag a little on yourself!
4. BELIEVE WHAT YOU TOLD YOURSELF in steps 1-3!

What the Bible says about You:

Maybe there is a reason you continue to talk down to yourself. You might have been criticized by a parent, a spouse or a friend your entire life. Don’t believe those lies anymore. God made you just the way you are for a reason. The Bible clearly states that:

You are perfect just the way you are:

Psalms 139: 1-  “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; v. 16: Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

God put you in the job you are in and has BIG plans for you:

Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

God says you are precious:

The Bible says in Proverbs 31:10-11 “She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.”

Proverbs 31: 28 “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”

Be a Better Friend to Yourself

We have all heard the saying that a friend loves at all times. Women are the greatest friends. We are there for each other. Our friends listen to us when we are sad and build us up when we need encouragement. Why, then, don’t we do that for ourselves?

Next time you catch yourself talking down to yourself, kick “your friend” to the curb, do some positive self talk, meditate on God’s word and BELIEVE the TRUTH about who God says you are! You, my dear woman, are a blessing and a gift to those around you!

Be Blessed,