Even though Valentine’s Day has come and gone, love is still in the air in the month of February. So in today’s blog, we are going to talk about love languages. Have you heard of that before? Gary Chapman wrote a book called “The Five Love Languages” and in this book, he describes five different ways that we express love and receive love.

The five different love languages include:

• Words of affirmation.
• Quality time.
• Physical touch.
• Acts of service.
• Receiving gifts.

Typically, the way you show love is the way that you enjoy receiving love. For example, if you love to hear words of affirmation, you will typically express love by telling others how much you love them or are proud of them. If you aren’t a big fan of getting gifts, you might not really enjoy giving them either.

Any way that you show love to others is amazing. After all, God calls us to love one another just as He has loved us. However, if you don’t understand the love language of another person, you might not be showing love in the best way.

My love language(s) are Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. I love hearing from my husband how much he loves me and is proud of me. Or I love it when he reaches out and holds my hand. Therefore, I also like to show him love by telling him how handsome he looks or how much I love him. I also am always reaching out to him to hug him or hold his hand.

However, those two are not his love language. Although I’m sure it makes him feel special when I tell him those nice things or when I hold his hand, that’s not the way that he feels loved the most. His love language is Quality Time. I can show him love in the best way by going to feed cattle with him. Or sitting on the couch watching ESPN with him. Or riding the tractor with him. Or sitting on the back porch with him. Do you see the difference? It’s not about how I want to express my love to him; it’s about how he receives the love that makes him feel most loved!

If you want to know what you and your husband’s love language is, you can take the quiz here.

Here are just a few examples of how you could show love to your spouse in each of the love languages:

Words of Affirmation

Words of affirmation are words that communicate your love, appreciation, and respect for another person. Write a poem. Send a card. Make an effort to tell him how handsome he looks. Tell others how proud you are of him (but let him hear you bragging on him). Be specific in what you love about him.

Quality Time

Quality time is time spent in giving another person one’s undivided attention in order to strengthen a relationship. Put down your cell phone and focus on the one you love. Do things with him that he enjoys. Initiate spending time with him. Make eye contact. Participate in active listening. Plan a getaway.

Physical Touch

Physical touch is not all about sex. If it was, I would think this would be the primary love language of most men. However, if your husband’s love language is physical touch, make an effort to hold his hand, cuddle on the sofa, offer a back rub and initiate a deep kiss. I promise that he will have his love cup filled up if you practice these things on him.

Acts of Service

In terms of intimate relationships, Acts of Service is a language that can best be described as doing something for your partner that you know they would like. Examples of this could include washing their truck for them, mowing the yard for them, taking them their favorite beverage before they ask you to, picking up their dirty underwear off the floor without nagging…

Acts of service may not be YOUR love language, but if it is your spouse’s love language, it is important to find what he would appreciate you doing for him.

Receiving Gifts

The final love language is the receiving gifts, which means we “speak” our love through presents ranging from small tokens to surprise deliveries. Sometimes this love language is seen as being selfish (all they want are gifts), but it really is about being sentimental. Show your husband your love by bringing him a little trinket that means something about your relationship. Find something to give him that shows him you were thinking of him.

If your husband says he feels embarrassed when presented with a gift, it’s likely not his love language. If he’s highly enthusiastic, if he puts the item on display, wears it every day, or gushes to his friends about it, he likely felt very loved by the gesture.

Though the majority of us have one or two dominant love languages, each of us technically speaks all five languages to some degree. It’s ideal that we speak all five languages to our romantic partners—physical affection, quality time, acts of service, kind words, and gifts—while simply making sure to prioritize their preferred language.

Be blessed,

Vickie